The Razor King

Old Hot Hubert and Trapeze Dan went on down to see the Magic Man.
They took their minds out for inspection, a little wine, a little confession.
The Magic Man took what they did bring and sent ‘em on down to see the Razor King

Hubert and DanOld Hot Hubert and Trapeze Dan picked up all of their clothes and they ran.
They said, “We gotta find him soon, afore we choke on all these fumes.
"Gotta find the man who'll make us clean. Gotta find us the Razor King.”

They headed north to polar snows, way up North where the cold wind blows.
Those two old geezers nearly froze. Hubert said, “Man, it’s a heavy dose.
“I can't hardly wait until spring, when we can see the Razor King.”

How we gonna get to Heaven, carryin’ the weight of the world?
We are oysters. The world’s a pearl.

Trapeze Dan, he disagreed. Trust and patience ain't his speed.
So he ditched Hubert and he headed on South, tryin’ to find him a smoother route.
He sprouted horns and a pair of wings. He flew on down to see the Razor King.

Instrumental section

They both arrived at the very same time. Stood at the gate and dropped in their dimes.
A voice said, “Boys, you’re in the right place. C’mon in, let me see your faces.”
They punched some buttons, bells did ring. They went on in to see the Razor King.

They could hardly hide their glee, huggin’ each other and slappin’ their knees.
“Which one of you wants to see me first? Which one of you has the greatest thirst?”
Old Hot Hubert said he needed a drink. Then he held up some string he'd saved up in a ball for the Razor King.

How we gonna get to Heaven, carryin’ the weight of the world?
We are oysters. The world’s a pearl.

The Razor King, it blew his mind, this pitiful man with his little ball of twine.
He said, “I just wanna see the man who calls himself Trapeze Dan.”
Old Hot Hubert really felt the sting. He vowed he'd kill the Razor King.

He climbed in through a broken window pane. Hid himself inside of the bathtub drain.
When Razor King came in to wash his hands, Old Hot Hubert rose to stand.
“Death to all tyrants,” he did sing, and with his string he strangled the Razor King.

There’s a moral to this tale. If you go searchin’ for the Holy Grail,
Follow my directions without fail, unless you’d rather land in jail.
Doncha go collectin' little balls of string. And keep yourself away from the Razor King.

How we gonna get to Heaven, carryin’ the weight of the world?
We are oysters. The world’s a pearl.

The Rqazor King

The Razor King

Copyright 2005 NADJA MUSIC Reinaldo Garcia
July 4, 1974 Point Arena, California

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