|I met her in the commissary on the local army base.
She had that lonely military wife look across her face.
She said I looked like a man could get her drain unstuck.
I just happened to have a plumber’s snake in my pick-up truck.
Her house was not the kinda thng you’d write home about.
She said a man’s not the kinda thing she can do without.
She said her man’s a soldier in Afghanistan.
She said a bird in the bush is worth two in the hand.
Now she’s the drum and I'm the fife.
She takes it up the semper fi.
I’m the guy to occupy that lonely military wife.
I supplied the stiff-armed services
That made us whirl like dervishes.
One day her soldier showed up out of the blue.
While I disengaged he asked me, “Who are you?”
I said, “I’m the guy who’s doin’ what you'd be doin’.
“If you'd been doin’ what you shoulda been doin’.”
He said, “I never expected her to be a nun.”
Then he went lookin’ for his gun.
He came back with a Bowie knife.
Now I’m a falsetto guy
Who can’t supply the alibi for that lonely military wife.